Connecting with your teenager is crucial for meaningful relationship-building and will positively affect their general well-being and future success. Research shows that teens who experience warm, caring relationships and effective communication with their parents tend to have positive outcomes that extend into adulthood. When parents foster these strong connections, teenagers are more likely to open up about their struggles, cultivate healthy relationships, experience lower levels of depressive symptoms, and enjoy better overall health. Prioritizing these relationships can significantly impact a teen’s development and resilience.

However, establishing and maintaining these connections can be incredibly challenging. Adolescents can be reluctant to share personal information with their parents and may prioritize their peer friendships during this critical phase of life. While it’s common for teens to pull away, there are many strategies parents can use to stay connected:

1. Open Communication with Your Teen

Creating a safe space for conversations is the foundation for connecting with your teenager. Encourage your teen to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Here are some phrases to try:

Tell me more about that…
I am proud of you because…
Why do you think that happened?
Do you want me to offer advice, or do you just want me to listen?

2. Quality Time

Spend time with your teen by engaging in activities they enjoy—whether that’s playing video games, watching movies, or simply hanging out. Inviting your teen’s friends to join in on these activities can be especially beneficial. It not only allows you to bond with your teen but also keeps you in the loop about their conversations, interests, and the connections that matter most to them.

3. Validate Emotions

It’s important to validate your teen’s emotions. Teens can struggle with identity, friendships, self-esteem, body image, and peer pressure as they navigate physical and emotional changes. Acknowledging your teen’s feelings reminds them that it is ok to feel and experience the spectrum of human emotions. Try saying something like “It’s ok to feel frustrated; I’m sorry you’re feeling hurt right now.” Sometimes, simply acknowledging your teen’s feelings and letting them know you’re there to help is enough.

4. Encourage Independence

Independence is a crucial part of adolescence, allowing teens to practice becoming effective decision-makers. Encourage your teen to share any challenges or situations they’re facing, and engage them in discussions about their choices. Help them explore the potential consequences of their decisions, emphasizing that they are still learning. Your guidance can create a safe and valuable opportunity for growth, fostering their confidence in making informed choices.

5. Be Present for Your Teen

Show up for important events and be engaged in their lives. Your presence matters, even if they don’t always acknowledge it.

Connecting with your teenager is possible! By implementing these strategies, you can strengthen your relationship with your teen and help them navigate this challenging phase of life. So take a deep breath and remember, staying connected is an ongoing journey, and your efforts will make a lasting difference in their lives.

Written by Joi Ward, SfL Clinician, M.Ed, MA